Music – language more than artefact

As a child, I was taught to be a classical pianist. Its competitive, pressurised environment was alien to me, really. Presenting music as a technically correct, tastefully-interpreted performance was hard, when for me, music is a spontaneous outpouring, a trip into a magical place. I did well enough, pretending to fit into that world but I never felt at home. It took me a long time to shed that skin, but now I share my music in my own way.

I don't really experience music as an external thing, a product or even a performance. It's a language that I use to help me explore deep, complex feelings, to process them. I do it for myself, to make sense of life. And sharing it is communication more than performance. I like to think that the stories I tell, whether in my own pieces and improvisations or in classical repertoire, are little personal glimpses into the mysteries of life. The music might sound plausible, natural and even polished, but really it is just musing on inner feelings.

What my music is for

I think music has the power to lift us out of our everyday experience, to carry us into a fantasy realm. A have a friend whole called me the music pusher and I quite like that! My music uses a range of eclectic influences and which combine within a very personal voice. I use it to invoke inner adventures or trips into the inner realms of consciousness. Sorry if that sounds grandiose. It's the opposite—there's a childlike exuberance about it. I created this website as a space to share my music and how I use it. It's my invitation for people to come with me and visit the inner worlds that it explores.

Music speaks feelings

I’m more interested in what music reveals than any preconceived idea of genre. But a lot of music within the classical solo piano tradition does fascinates me. If I allow myself to be free from any sense of the elitism or pretentious mannerism that can creep into performances within this genre, I can find a particular kind of rich intensity: a glimpse into the heart of pure light, or into the darkest abyss. And as it unfolds within a flexible, unfettered storytelling groove, I enjoy how the musical journey can unfold with candour, in a way that is so natural and easy to follow, and full of childlike awe and wonder. I love the music to become a deep inward exploration, almost like a mystical or psychedelic experience.

Access to a magical realm

I think music can take us through a kind of doorway or over a threshold into am experience that is more vivid, more magical than the everyday one. I marvel at how it can transform even the darkest feelings into sheer beauty, whilst joy can become vast and all-encompassing, whilst every shade between the two can glow and shimmer with meaning.  I'm so intrigued by the complexity of feeling that it can express: rather than working out a definitive interpretation that I stick to, I like to allow the music to speak of feelings in ways that can be surprising, as they layer upon themselves, creating strange often bittersweet multiplicity.

I’m interested in the way it creates a kind of lucid dream state. Held by the music’s strong but supple structure, I can be very flexible and free to fly high or plumb the depths. My hope is to be intelligible so that the listener might follow the unfolding journey intently, and the music may bring them solace and catharsis. I believe music can unlock things long buried – powerful feelings – whether singular or collective. It helps us become inwardly unfiltered, and perhaps even a little wild.